My friends...

They're all I need in life. Well, them and music.

I don't know what I'd do without my friends <3

2 years ago this day, Mary Magdalan's album, Pity Girl was released...

That's why this morning I was like "Why does Dec. 17 seem so significant to me?"

I rather not go into why it's important though...

Too personal...



^Favorite Mary Magdalan song^

Why does this date seem significant to me?

I keep trying to think back... What happened that makes this day stick out in my mind...

It's not a birthday... I don't think...

Death?

No... I don't think so...

It didn't have anything to do with my ex... I know that...

What could have POSSIBLY happened on this day?

It's going to be bothering me until I know...

I've been really emotional all day...

And I didn't know why until I got into our old house (it hasn't been sold yet)...

And I got a flashback of when my ex molested me...

I hate it here...

I want to go back to Phoenix...

That's where I am right now. On the flight to NY, waiting for take off. I'll be in NY in an hour and a half.

I'm sitting at the gate. I'll be boarding the plane in 15 minutes. I managed to use their WiFi connection and I'll be able to use it on the plane as well.

I'm bored. But at least I have what I consider necessities:

iPod
Cell Phone
Laptop
2 Books

CRAP! I FORGOT MY NOTEBOOK! For my drawings and stuff...

*Sigh* Eh. I have photoshop. *Shrug*

The only decent drawing I've done is the one of a scary clown...

OMG! I FORGOT SAMMY!!! *Pouts*

Ugh!

I wouldn't be able to fit him in any of our bags anyways...

I've spent the last hour and 1/2 yelling at my mom, because she's fucking deaf!

Anyways. I should go, we'll be boarding soon.

Oh, and I have yet another favorite song.

I'll be on a plane to NY soon...

I'm excited to see my niece...

Anyways... I'm listening to David Cook and it got me thinking about American Idol...

I've asked people who won last season and they're always like "Adam Lambert... No, wait, he was runner up... Who was that other guy?" Lol.

But all of the sudden Kris Allen's album is in the top charts... Figure that one out...

And I just HAD to pimp out the badly photoshopped Miguel/Ryan icon I made years ago...

I know it's not a canon pairing, but you can't tell me there's NOT something going on. Ever watch the frisking scene? Any Oz fans remember that? When the Latinos got pissed at Ryan because he was competition in the drug trade? THAT'S NOT HOW YOU FRISK SOMEONE!

You pat them down. You don't run your hands all over their body! XD

It's a fun scene to watch in slow-motion though.

I love how when Miguel has to frisk him he's all "Assume the position!" and Ryan's all "WHAT?!" and then he's all "Assume the position!" and pushes him against the wall (Very forcefully.) It's sexy...

Ryan is SO a top though. XD

I'll be gone for 9 hours today...

I don't know if I'll be able to get online on the plane...

But I'll try to get on with my cell or iPod...

TAYLORE TEXTED ME THIS MORNING! I just checked my phone...

Taylore: Hello, dear. (: how are you this fine, cold, morning?

Me: I'm good. You?

Taylore: I'm well. What are you up to?

Me: Not much, getting ready to go to NY.

Taylore: For what?

Me: To visit my sister for X-mas.

Taylore: Fun. (: are you close?

Me: Not really. She's 10 years older than me and we never got along. I get to see my niece though.

Taylore: That's good. (:

Me: When I get back, do you want to hang out?

Taylore: When do you get back?

Me: January 6th.

Taylore: Sure. (:



EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

I feel I should update everyone on my life, because I have nothing better to do...

Voice lessons have been going well... I love it! My teacher is really awesome.

I only had one piano lesson though, now I have to find a different teacher though because the one I had was terrifying...

I'm leaving for Upstate NY tommorrow at 10:15 AM...

I'm staying at my old house because it's not sold yet. I should be there by 9:30 PM NY time. Which means most of my online friends probably won't be on due to time zones and stuff...

I've been listening to "Coming Undone" by KoRn all day...

I've been trying to figure out what it's talking about... I think it might be drugs... I have no idea though...

Here's the lyrics, if anyone wants to help me figure this out. It's bothering me.

( Read more... )


And a new Repo! Icon!

I was listening to the audio commentary on Supernatural for the episode “All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1” and I typed down some of my favorite parts...

( Minor Spoilers! )

I just found it amusing...

17 That Signs You Love Someone

SEVENTEEN:You look at their profile/webpage constantly.

SIXTEEN:When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.

FIFTEEN:You read their Texts and Ims Over and over again.

FOURTEEN:You walk really slow when you're with them.

THIRTEEN:You feel shy whenever they're around.

ELEVEN:When you think about them, your heart beats faster but slower at the same time.

TEN:You smile when you hear their voice.

NINE:When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her.

EIGHT:You start listening to slow songs while thinking about them.

SEVEN:They're all you think about.

SIX:You get high just from their scent

.FIVE:You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them

.FOUR:You would do anything for them!

THREE:While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.

TWO:You were so busy thinking about that person, you didnt notice number twelve was missing

ONE:You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself.

If that's really what they wanted, yes, I would. I would want to spend an entire day with them first, before I do it...

I know I'm stress eating again...

Dammit... I'm going to go use my Ab Lounge...

I'm trying to LOSE weight and I'm sitting here eating fucking marshmallows...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSJXle3LP_Q

Embedding disabled...

I lost 4 pounds...

46 more to go...

But that's 4 pounds in 3 days...

I'm thinking about burning my Tarot cards...

Everyone's right...

They're just cards...

So, a few years ago, The Travel Channel was doing a thing on horror theme parks and I saw one that I really wanted to go to some day but I couldn't remember the name afterwards.

Last night I FINALLY remembered it was called House Of Shock and I looked it up... When I watched the videos about it, I realized, I'm too worn out to do stuff like that now. I guess I've just been through so much that I can't handle stuff that intense anymore...

It makes me sad, because I REALLY wanted to go... But I can't handle that stuff now...

And Dad just left to bring our pets back to NY for Christmas and him and I only got into 1 fight while he was here...

For those of you who read my last entry...

I want you to know that I'm fine...

I just got really mad at myself because I've realized I made a promise that I keep breaking (unintentionally) and I just feel so worthless right now and I know that at least one of my friends is going to be mad at me because I fucked up... Again...

But... I didn't hurt myself... I planned to... I was going to hang myself from the wooden beam in our attic and leave a note on my bed telling my parents where to find me...

But... This is going to sound stupid... I wanted to at least look halfway decent when I died so I showered and I was planning on putting on my favorite dress, my fishnets, and my platforms.. Then I was going to do my make up and stuff... I was going to hang myself with a scarf I have... It's hot pink with crossbone skulls on it...

Well, when I was showering, I realized how stupid I was being and, even though my friends will be really pissed at me and might not want to talk to me anymore, they'd hate me even more if I abandoned them...

So...

To everyone who may have read my last entry and was worried...

I'm sorry...

And to the people I made that promise to...

I'm sorry for that too...

And to those who hate me for being a selfish bitch...

I'm sorry for that as well...

Basically, I'm sorry for being such a horrible friend...